Finding the therapist that's right for you can take time! It is perfectly normal to "shop around." The process is akin to trying out certain medicines. You may respond better to Advil than to Tylenol, likewise, you may respond to one therapist's treatment better than another's. That's totally okay! You can call and ask to speak to therapists to get an idea of what it could be like to work with them, or you could have multiple intake appointments with various therapists. Either way, give yourself permission to explore and ask questions! Below are some questions you can ask your therapist.
Questions to Ask Your Prospective Therapist
How do you normally treat people with my symptoms?
What relevant training do you have in treating my symptoms?
If you belong to a minority group, you can ask, "do you have experience working with lgbtqia+ clients, disabled clients, BIPOC clients?"
How often do you recommend meeting?
Do you belong to any peer consultation groups? (This is a way for therapists to remain current with research and therapeutic skills, and also a place for them to receive support.)
If you've been recommend a specific type of therapy (ex- ERP, DBT, ART, etc.) ask if they can explain what this treatment is to you
Busting Common Myths
I worked with a therapist once before and didn't get better, therapy doesn't work/I am immune to therapy.
There are so many variables that impact treatment success. Research indicates that the number one influential factor to treatment success is actually the relationship you have with your therapist! Beyond that though, other factors like treatment frequency, consistency, and participation matter. These components make up the "dose" of your therapy. If you were prescribed a 100mg of Tylenol, and you took only 50mg, you wouldn't expect it to work, right? Similarly, if you are recommended to attend treatment once a week for six months, and you had a tendency to cancel, show late, and forget to do your homework or reflect what you discussed in your sessions, likewise, you are not getting the full "therapy dose!" Your current living environment makes a big impact as well, it is easier to heal in an environment that is supportive as opposed to one that is chaotic or hostile.
My child has had 10 sessions, they should be better by now. I don't think therapy is right for them.
Well, I can't say if therapy is right for a theoretical child, but I can tell you that progress often takes more than 10 sessions, despite what our insurance companies may want us to believe! Here's another thing, it is very common, in fact normal, for some folks' symptoms to intensify before resolving. This is because we can work so hard to avoid what is generating our symptoms, that we don't even truly know the depth of what is hurting us. That's okay, this is part of the process. Take one session at a time and give yourself permission to heal on the timeline your body needs, even if that number is different than what you want or expect. If you're a parent and are anxious about your child's progress or lack there of, ask for a parent session! Your role in your child's progress is crucial, and there is a spot for you in this process. Note - I want to acknowledge the financial privilege my above recommendation requires, especially given that I do not accept insurance. For this reason, I have a sliding scale and several clients hold full pro-bono statuses. Please reach out to me if you are interested in services and have financial difficulties and let's see if we can find something within your financial reach.
I don't want to do couples therapy, because if we do, that means our marriage is truly doomed.
Curse this myth! Did you know that on average, couples wait seven years to seek couples counseling after they realize there is a problem in their marriage? I wish this myth didn't exist since it perpetuates years of suffering in couples, furthering the risk for infidelity, substance abuse, family conflict, depression, you name it. The couples therapy that I practice not only addresses the conflict fueling what is called the negative interactive cycle and creates a new, adaptive pattern of communication, but also strengthens the bond that brought you two together to begin with! I do want to share a second myth I've encountered, which is "we've already tried couples therapy and it didn't work," when that "couples therapy" was a partner joining their spouse's individual therapy sessions. You want a therapist who has not established a relationship with either partner and can singularly focus on your relationship as the client. This therapist's job is to fight for your relationship, and an individual therapist can support you through this process. If you or your partner is hesitant about couples therapy, consider the possibility of committing for only an intake session where you can meet your couples therapist and get a better sense of what couples therapy could be like.
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